LIFE
Well, life happens, right?
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What do you do when the institution you devoted your life to, gave everything to and sacrificed everything for becomes your greatest source of pain? As a PK [Pastor’s Kid], I have seen my dad devote his time, resources, energy and sacrifice so much to the church yet it has become the source of most… Read more
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God, I think we need to have this conversation and I feel that it has been long overdue. Lord if I speak out of ignorance, please forgive me. I just need to understand several things in life that have been bothering me for a while now. Dear Lord, why has life had to be so… Read more
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I know you have lived a hurtful life as a PK just as I have and nothing about that journey was easy. I understand your struggles even though they could have been different in exercise, I know the deepest desire was to live a life just like any other child. I am sorry that was… Read more
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I will make this short because the thought of it makes my head ache. You did not have to be strong all the time. Mom you didn’t! I wanted to carry all your pain because I could evidently see you were hurting but I did not know how to. I wish hurt and pain was… Read more
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Hi dad? All I ever wanted was to be loved and be heard! I never wanted you to see me from the angle of a pastor’s son. I just wanted to be your kid. I just wanted to be like any other son was to his father. I always desired to get closer to you… Read more
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I wanted to die! At some point in life we lose sanity, get tired and say enough is enough. Pain and hurt has a way of driving you to the cliff and the only option you have is to throw yourself down. We are strong but we are only strong up to a certain point. … Read more
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I always wondered why people got into the habit of drinking alcohol and for the longest time I judged them for that. I have been raised in a Christian background and there are things we knew were of the world and we were and are not of the world. We knew that alcohol is a… Read more
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Even after I had ended things with Juliet, healing was not instant. I still struggled knowing and feeling I was loved. What I have now realized and deeply taken to heart is that undealt hurt is recurring hurt. You have to deal with pain and hurt when it occurs even if you do not get… Read more
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Right here is where I almost died. After Emily had moved to the Western part of our nation and I had also moved out to further my career, the chemistry naturally died with time. The need to be loved had not yet been met and no matter how much I tried to assume it was… Read more
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Spoiler alert, this is not where I almost died. It was far much later. The encounter with Jane had opened a door that I should never have walked through to the other side. However, it felt like that was where my solution lay. ‘Maybe Jane was not the right woman to get me the love… Read more
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Everybody deserves to be loved right? I believe the best form of love is that which comes from home. We all have that desire to be hugged, cuddled and be told ‘I love you.’ Growing up, for whatever reasons, I thought I was not loved. I am an introvert and I have been one all… Read more
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In the previous post, I pointed out that everyone goes through pain what differs are the experiences we go through that bring about the aforementioned. If you study the Word of God, pain seems to be like a necessity in the life of every believer. It is almost as if we must go through a… Read more
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We all go through hurt and pain in our lives. What differs are the experience we go through that bring about the pain. I am not an exceptional. I also have had my moments of pain and when I weigh life, they seem to take the bigger percentage of it. If I will be honest… Read more
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2023 is going to be a good year. That I can tell foreal. If you are a church goer, then there is that theme for the year that was given prophetically on 1st Jan, right? Well, where I attended church, there was also a theme for the year. Actually, I would not refer to it… Read more
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Happy new year folks. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ unto whom we owe all praise and gratitude. I know we are six days in to the new year and it may seem a bit off to wish you a new year now but if you ask me, it is still new. We are only six… Read more
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I am so glad that we are coming to the end of yet another year. 2022 has been a year that is in its own league. I am however grateful that God has remained true to who His nature. He has indeed preserved us and made us His remnants. There is so much I could… Read more
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I know it has not been easy for you. Neither has it been for me. It is a huge toll being a PK. Funny thing is, we never chose to be born here. You have done quite well so far. I was sharing with a group a week ago and I told them that one… Read more
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Dear God, Manze we need to talk because wueeeh! I have a lot on my mind right now. Nafeel overwhelmed at the moment na sijui if I can bear it anymore. Sikuwahi dhani ingewahi fika hii point where you and I are so distant. Honestly sijui tulifika hapa aje. In my mind, nafeel and I… Read more
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Scars.You can’t see themBut I have many.Broken heartBroken feelingsBroken Spirit. Scars.Fragile heartTorn fleshEmptied emotions Scars.Smooth skinWith deep cuts underneath.Bleeding with pain. Scars.They say time heals themBut mine are still fresh. Scars.ResentmentBitternessHurtPain. Scars.I’m a wounded warrior.whose scars dentthe Body, emotions and spirit. Call me Scars. Read more
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OftenI wake up feeling so unqualified.Wanting to give upWanting to call everything offMy insufficiencies engulf meLike a bubbleAnd whisper loudly how muchof nothingness I am.And honestly, sometimes I believe it.My inabilities seem to be weightier than who I really am.Unqualified. As my feelings betray meSo does my mind.It joins in the bloody warand almost immediately… Read more
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Hi guys. It has been a while since I wrote. There comes a time when you just take an intentional break and refill your cup so that it doesn’t run dry. While on the break, my good friend Ms Kavata who is a blogger, requested me to be part of a series she was doing… Read more
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Smiles. I never saw this in the light of what I would be sharing with you, today. On this particular Sunday, we had finished church service, concluded every activity needed to be done and we were getting set to leave. But then we had to wait a while for all of us to leave at… Read more
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